Posted in Relationships

Love brewed in Langata

I was in primary school when the romance between Kui* and Kamal* started and we kids watched in fascination as it unfolded. Kui was the firstborn in her family which lived three plots away from ours. She was reed thin, dark, and willowy and looked so delicate, I always thought a high wind would blow her off her feet. She had dimples too and teeth so white I always imagined that if she was lost in a really dark room, you could navigate your way to her easily using her smile.

Kamal was the opposite. Light skinned, with the stocky build of a bouncer and jet black hair. He was Asian. Kui was Kikuyu. He would arrive in his white Datsun pick-up to pick up Kui for their dates and drive off, spewing dust as the pair laughed and giggled, obviously smitten with each other. He was romantic too and always showed up at her house with little gifts. He was the consummate gentleman, opening doors for the ladies, treated her family with respect and always had a kind word for us kids who loved the show that he and Kui put on. Continue reading “Love brewed in Langata”

Posted in Relationships

Think ending up single is bad? Try being shackled to a gay man still in the closet

Susan was happily married until six months ago. She is one of those women who refused to let her biological clock dictate her life when it came to marriage and motherhood. She was determined to wait for a man who met her standards and it finally happened. Six years ago at 36 she met Mike, the man of her dreams.

Mike is handsome, athletic, runs his own logistics business and draws admiration from both men and women, what you’d call a man’s man or as Kikuyus say ‘njamba’. They have two beautiful children, a daughter aged four and son who is two. Mike and Susan had their ups and downs as a couple but on the whole she considered their relationship solid.

Six months ago she caught him in bed with another man. Continue reading “Think ending up single is bad? Try being shackled to a gay man still in the closet”

Posted in Relationships

Relationship minefield

In this article, Chris Hart, one of my favourite columnists explains why relationships are such a minefield. Seems men and women are genetically programmed to approach love and sex differently no matter their age.

He says that when it comes to sex men just need an opportunity! Women on the other hand need a reason. “For them, psychological feelings such as trust, closeness and happiness must be right first.

“Not only that, but society somehow approves when men want lots of sex. And subtly discourages women. So is it any wonder men and women’s desires don’t match? A man’s whole chemistry is geared towards having sex. Often. Whenever opportunity presents itself. But women’s brains are programmed to first find the right man! One who’ll make a commitment to helping her rear the children. Who has the right genes and the ability to provide support.”

Why is that? Nature having the last laugh? Whichever way you look at it, God has a lot of explaining to do. My own thoughts on this subject are in the first part of this article which I wrote some time back.